I don’t find car commercials particularly interesting. Sure, a handful of car ads have been entertaining, and they’re usually for Volkswagens (remember the ad with the guy trying to race to the church?), but the most part, the ads are trying to peddle mass-produced people haulers and grocery getters. They usually don’t focus on the car, or how it performs, rather they feature an announcer shouting words at the viewer, accompanied by lots of numbers on the screen.
What I do find interesting, or just plain absurd, are the warnings slapped on the ads. In fine print at the bottom of the screen, the warnings tell me what not to do with a particular vehicle. Drag racing on city streets? Don’t do that. Pegging the speedometer to the right as you drive through a residential street packed with children playing and selling lemonade? Don’t do that. Driving in reverse on I-76 without your taillights on? Nope. Briefly sticking your hand out the window?
Don’t even think about it.
Maybe it has something to do with our overly litigious country, or the perception that we are an overly litigious country, but some of the warnings on some car ads really make you say, “Why in the world was that warning necessary?”
Sticking your hand out the window briefly? That was a warning posted on the bottom of a recent BMW 5 Series ad. It showed a kid riding in the backseat on a car on a nice stretch of country road, looking happy, as he stuck his hand out the window slightly.
Whoa, let’s not get crazy, people.
Statistics have shown that someone, somewhere, has had his hand injured by sticking his hand a little bit out of the window … and that warrants a warning.
All kidding aside, it could be dangerous to stick your hand out of a moving car, but at least it’s possible. The most ridiculous warnings are for things you can’t even do in a vehicle … or in any circumstance.
The most recent ad for Nissan’s current sign-and-ride sale event shows a person test driving a red Altima; he’s driving really quickly and somehow he manages to write his name in black tire rubber. Nissan suggests that you don’t write your name in disintegrated Bridgestones and, as such, has the following message: “You will never be able to do this on a test drive.”
Thanks, disclaimer.
A Toyota ad a couple years back showed an Avalon driving very slowly — and serenely — in the clouds. Toyota’s warning: “Do not attempt.” Have we really gotten to the point where a car manufacturer has to tell a prospective buyer that he or she should not drive a large vehicle in the sky? (Wait … Can this car drive in the sky?)
And on the other end of the sky, it turns out that a Fiat 500 is unable to double as a submarine. Without a disclaimer this ad would have gullible buyers believe that it can drive from its native Italy all the way to Ellis Island — underwater.
Ford has an ad for its newly redesigned Aston Martin clone. In it, the driver accelerates off of a cliff and the car begins to fly. Ford, I suppose thinking that someone would actually try to launch one of its Fusions, posts a warning below. It’s kind of cheeky, in that its says something like, “Of course cars cannot fly.”
I’ve also seen ads for cars that are driving on the streets — you know, as intended — that have disclaimers that read: “do not attempt.”
For some reason, I don’t think that these disclaimers would show up on European ads for the same car. These are the basics, people: don’t race cars on public streets, cars can’t fly, and cars can’t swim. I’m OK with having a disclaimer that says something like, “Please obey all local traffic laws,” or “Don’t drive like a jerk.” A little reminder couldn’t be all bad, but do we really need ads telling me that hamsters are incapable of driving Kias?