My car celebrated its ninth birthday last November. While that’s not quite old enough to qualify for classic tags, it isn’t exactly new. But, for the most part, my car looks like it did when it rolled off the assembly line on Nov. 17 … a Monday.
(I’m planning a big birthday party next November.)
Aside from some minor changes — European/clear lighting with corresponding amber bulbs, and the occasional use of a Car and Driver“Save the Manuals!” magnet on the deck lid — my car’s exterior is stock. No decals. No wings. No fake badging.
Stock.
Lately I’ve noticed a trend that should have gone away after Vin Diesel first drove off into the sunset in an Orange Supra. More and more people are adding faux vents and air scoops to their cars. The add-ons adorn roofs, hoods, fenders — no flat surface is immune.
I don’t get the allure. In fact, it goes beyond me not getting it. I’m kind of intrigued. I’d like to know the thought process behind putting a sticker on a vehicle shaped like heat extractor or air intake. Who wakes up and says, “You know, Honda really forgot to add a superfluous intake scoop to the roofs of its Civics. If only there were something I could do about it …” I find it especially strange when the vents are placed upside down or in an area that needs no ducting.
One of the most recent examples I’ve seen of faux scoops was on a silver Civic — it looked to be about a 1994. Nice enough, but it stuck out like a … well, like an economy car with an air intake scoop on its roof. I’m not sure if other people notice things like this, but it caught my eye. The strange thing is, if the owner was looking to draw attention to his car, there are better, easier ways to do it.
I suspect there are very few mid-’90s Civics in really clean, stock condition. (The car soon may be eligible for classic tags.) The silver Civic definitely would have gotten a second look from me, and everyone else, if it lost the fake vents, had its original wheels, hood and nicely polished paint. Heck, the owner could have strayed a little from stock by adding newer Honda wheels and by giving the car a fresh paint job using a Honda color — like the Electron Blue that adorns sixth-generation Civic Si’s.
I love that color.
Keeping it stock would make the Civic stand out among a sea of 2-year-old, run-of-the-mill economy cars from Japan and Korea. Now, it just stands out for all the wrong reasons … and it’s increasing its drag coefficient in the process.
--
It’s finally spring! If you’ve got a unique car or know of an upcoming car-related event, shoot me an email at mischa.arnosky@patch.com.